The Trouble With Boundaries

It's pretty common to hear people talk about the importance of “good boundaries.” That's unfortunate because, while good boundaries are certainly better than bad ones, the metaphor of the boundary itself carries with it some baggage we would do well to avoid. We really can do better! Read this, and never have your boundaries violated again.

Improvising Relationships

Do Internet dating sites reflect our romantic world or shape it?Dating Sites

Dating sites try to capture our mate selection parameters in a plethora of check boxes, pull-down menus and search criteria. It's now so easy to find your exact match – height, income, religion, hobbies, eye color,…

Secrets and Conspiracies in Social Networks

Most people will say honesty is the best policy.  Then come the questions. “Well what about...” and they will describe some situation in which they would prefer to be less than truthful.  Usually the lie is one of omission.   This withholding of information perhaps seems less bad than saying something you know to be false.  And yet the problem remains the same. You lose connection with…

2013 Aligning With the Truth: Q&A

The universe seems to have a built-in truth filter.  We move from ignorance to knowledge, not the other direction.   Lies are revealed and the truth burns brightly, until it becomes the memory of the truth, and the cycle repeats.  Secrets are exposed, but once known cannot easily be un-known. The universe is…

Conflict and Contact

Conflict arises from differences, and differences are unavoidable.  As human beings we have different desires, different needs, different values, and sometimes those differences are in conflict.  Conflict is a natural part of a healthy relationship.

How we navigate those conflicts is crucial.  Differences can be a source of antagonism and resentment, or, if approached in an intelligent…

How Improv Makes You a Better Lover

If you haven't done improv you may not be aware that improv has rules. These rules are constraints that have been shown to make a scene more interesting, and to provide more avenues for story and character development. The first rule of improv – you could even call it the “prime directive” – is commonly called the “Yes, and...” rule.

The “Yes” part means that we commit ourselves…

Synchronize Your Brain

Synchronized Brains

In a recent study, researchers have found that experiencing strong emotions in a group can synchronize brain activity, and may support social interaction.

Levels of Intimacy

10 Levels of Intimacy

Intimacy can be scary.  To allow an other to truly see us, our weaknesses, our fears, our desires, our dreams,  our judgements, our anger, the places we think we're not good enough... requires…